Hares: Bumblebee & Psycadelic

 

Hounds: Honest John, Slippery Shitter, Something Else, Boulders, B'Astard, Bones 1, Bones 2, Scrumpy, Bookend, Buscock, Rosie, Swatchsticka, Nobby, Wet Patch, Just Dervla, Just Dee, Elvis

 

Hares report:

And so it was that the assembled pack gathered in Dorchester for Bumblebee's latest trail. It was nice to see that now that the pressure of exams are over Scrumpy and Wet Patch can go back to making goo-goo eyes at each other on the trail. It must be the theme of the night as Rosie and Swatchsticka arrived hand-in-hand and Slipper Shitter was casting glances in Just Dervlas direction...

 

The ever-laying-hare Bumble kicked off proceedings by announcing that this would be a semi live hash with a couple of surprises.  The pack cracked on at pace and must surely have been the fastest thing to happen in Dorchester since the Edinburgh Woolen Mill had a sale on tweed singlets. After a few twists the pack arrived back at the pub demonstrating some of the laziest haring ever - Bumble only made it from the back of the pub to the front!

 

After a surprisingly good thimble full of Bumbles homemade 'cordial' two new hares were chosen. The love birds Slipper Shitter & Wet Patch (with others obviously not each other), cracked on at pace again. The good twsity-turny route was somewhat complicated by a gate being opened inbetween trail being laid and the pack following. Chances are that Slippery Shitter didn't see the open gate rather than a sweet old lady opened it for them. When the pack at last caught up with the young gents they had put a T-bar round the wrong way and adorned themselves with some of the coloured dust. This last move must have seen the two luckless chaps scrubbing their faces till midnight with St Ives exfoliating Apricot facial scrub (What?! Its good stuff!) so as not to get a bollocking from Matron. Bell ends...

 

The next hares chosen were Scrumpy & Dervla. With the frenzied fervour of the opening day on 1 Direction ticket sales the pack champed at the bit to get after the two new hares... Sorry I'll rephrase that: Wet Patch and Slippery Shitter were champing at the bit to get after the two new hares. A good link through Brewery Square and into the estate beyond saw Scrumpy and Just Dervla run out of flour and be forced to wait in a play park.

 

With time ticking away, the last hares to take up the now empty flour bag were the GM and RA. A brainwave saw the Mismanagement pick handfuls of cut grass to use as trail marking. In a turn of japery not seen since the 'Spot a local' competition in Rock, the pack decided that enough was enough and returned to the proper job of going for a pint. Arriving at the On Inn after the pack had got back, a rather crestfallen GM had to admit it had been a very good effort at humour.

 

Down downs were awarded to the long cutting bastards for taking a long cut through the central park. The GM and RA (quite happily) awarded themselves a down down for being duped. Just Dervla had to 'fess up that she couldn't take a down down as she had an exam in the morning. Its nothing that a late night cramming session fuelled by Blueberries and Red Bull couldn't fix. Hash name of Hard Core anyone...?

 

On on to the World Cup Hash on 12 June (still a few days left to buy tickets!!) Scorchio!