23 October 2014 Hash 654 The New Inn, Littlemoor

Hash 654 The New Inn, Littlemoor

 

Hares: Bones 1 & Bones 2

 

Hounds: Something Else, Cock'n'rubber, SNoFI, NoFI, Scrumpy, Le Ass Over Tit, Boulders, Bookend, Erco, Nobby, Rosie, Innappropriate, Just Emma, Just Jason, Slippery Shitter, Wet Patch, Gash, Prick Teaser, Just Kate.

 

Hounds Report:

It never bodes well when one arrives at a venue and the finds the hares crying into their soup as their neatly laid trail is washed away before their eyes. It is probably akin to the feeling that Noah got as he saw his suite of brand new Black & Deckers swallowed by the rising flood water. (Had they added this scene to the recent film it would have made, what was to be fair a pile of tosh rescued by the delightful Emma Watson, into an eminently more watchable film).

 

As the pack circled up, Slippery Shitter received a down-down from the faux piss pot for arriving late, forgetting his torch and ducking out before subs were called at the last hash. Diced carrot was added to help the Slippery one see in the dark when sans torch!

 

With keen eyes the pack set off to find the trail. The sharper eyed amongst the pack could pick out the trail laid in Waitrose-branded oats. The bars, regroups and fish hooks were a different story. It was usually by sheer luck that a hounds torchlight pierced the torrent of water and picked out a faint symbol. Usually by this point the first half of the pack had passed over said symbol and had to be called on back!

 

Good use of the snicks around Littlemoor saw a fairly compact area add distance to the trail. The cover of darkness helped to add a sense of disorientation to the trail so one was never quite sure where one was or which direction the trail proceeded.

 

For the duration Slippery Shitter and Wet Patch ,or 'Son' as he is now known in the Sykes/Yates household, led the way: often their calls on 'On On' were heard echoing down distant alleyways without any real idea of where they were! (As an aside the webmaster has petitioned the GM for a name change in the Scrumpy/ Wet Patch union in order to keep step with the household convention. As Bones 1 and Bones 2 are thus named, it would seem that Scrumpy should be rechristened as Wet Patch 2. However as one suspects that Wet Patch does not wear the Ron Hills in this particular pairing, the vote has been cast in favour of renaming Wet Patch as Scrumpy 2. Watch this space...) At the On Inn it was relayed that the Slippery one had doubled the as laid distance. An achievement or not? One will let you decide.

 

At some point in the trail Gash managed to live up to her name and fell over, sustaining a knee based injury not unlike that which caused her to be named. A down-down would soon be coming her way. As she was scooting, the luckless Slippery Shitter got given this as a sub. (He narrowly avoided a third for some other misdemeanour which defies the memory at this late stage of writing.)

 

Well done Bones' for an excellent evenings entertainment.

 

On On to the next most excellent trail!