Hares: Gravelrash & Welly Welly Wanker

 

Hounds: Bandit, Just Elvis, Just Dee, Wet Patch, Just Andrew, Nobby, Just Emily (V), Bookend, Rosie, Swatchsticka, COP, Bestiality, SNoFI, Lip Lock, Lagerlout, Ivor Stent, Nurse Baps, Just Debbie, Just Dervla, Something Else, Boulders, Scrumpy, Nipple Rash.

 

Hounds report:

Shiver me timbers but aint it windy. To drown out the sound of the roof tiles flying into next doors garden, one has put on the headphones and selected AC/DC. Sadly in a life-immitating-art scenario 'You shook me all night long' issued forth paralleling last nights insomia strewn restlessness. Lets hope the next song isnt 'Back in Black'.

 

...On to the trail. Parking billets were as hard to find as as Saturday night table at The Ivy. Two trips around Fortuneswell and Chiswell were needed before a surely-illegal parking manoeuver trapped a space. Unfortunately disembarking at such a speed meant Nipple Rash left the car still in full fatigues and had to run in a hoodie until the halfway point. 

 

The hare's attempts to curtail the speed of the young guns was put to the sword until the loops in and around Fortuneswell/Chiswell were completed where a noticeable slowing in pace occured. In a demonstration of stamina and age over beauty, Bookend led the way followed by someone who, at first glance looked like the latterly-burger-fed front man of Guns'N'Roses: Axel Rose. After a closer inspection it transpired that it was our very own rocker Axel Rosie sporting a spotted neckerchief as a stand in for his latterly raffled hat.

 

As the trail reached its zenith a regroup was had under the Porland Pyramid. At the call of 'Check it out!' Just Andrew sprinted up the side faster than a Just Andrew after a Just Dervla (Why are these hounds not named yet?! Sub30GM pull your finger out!). At calls of 'Are you?' (really calls of 'What he hell 'Are you?' doing? which were drowned out by the wind) Just Andrew struck up an Edmund Hillary-esque pose before running back down and promptly falling over (a naming theme begins Scrumpy! See last past run report!) 

 

As the trail worked its way toward the oft trod railway incline to The Heights, it took a dink and instead wound around the back of Tilleycombe. It was here that the webmaster overheard Bandit regail another hound about his previous experience in travelling the canine-mine laden paths running counterfeit 'Last of the Summer Wine' VHS' to sell in Weymouth market. Sadly this had come to an end with the rise of BBC iPlayer which was more socially acceptable than having turd laden cassette boxes adorning ones living room.

 

And so from here it was a gentle on in to a quiet pint...or so the webmaster thought. It seems as if Nipple Rash's presence at hashing occasions draws trouble like a VIP to a flooded Somerset field. On racing back to the car Nipple Rash drew the attention of some of the Portland yoof. Amid jeers and insults our happy duo changed hastily before the webmaster suggested that Nipple Rash drove the car on up to the car park to avoid further agro. Half an hour later, and with the webmaster happily into a pint, Nipple Rash arived having done the same two lapped trip around Chiswell and Fortuneswell as earlier in the evening. Marital harmony ensued.

 

On on to the next excellent trail!

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I must proof read my reports. I mist proove read my reports. I mist prof rood my repirts.. Before I start sounding like Officer Crabtree from 'Allo 'Allo (FaceTube it anyone under 30) I accept that I need to proof read my verbosity (.. my prolixity, grandiloquence, garrulousness, expatiation, logorrhea and many other word from Wikipedia) before submission. I am sorry it wont happen again.