Hares: Scrumpy & Wet Patch

 

Hounds: Ivor Stent, Nurse Baps, Honest John, Boulders, Dilly, Rosie, Nobby, Corn on the Knob, NOFI, Bones 1, Bones 2, Cracked Lips, Dick in a Jonny, Twinkle Toes, Just Andrew Dunbrell, Just Rusell, Lock Lipper, Just Dervla, Dizzy, Just Dina, Inspect Her Puppies, Just Neil, Bestiality, Bookend.

 

Socials: Someting Else

 

Hares report: Confusion was ripe (sic) in the pack as they set off in only one possible route although some still persisted in finding all the bars. The route was packed full of fish hooks and so the moaning began. There seemed tobe an age issues as those with blurry vision could not fidn the bright white dust (Paraphrased due to terrible handwriting. In all fairness this is probably the first time these young uns have had to pick up a pen and not type - Ed). In summary an absolutely terrible and mean pack.

 

Hounds report: Writing this as I am on Monday after the post Nash Hash party, one cannot help but feel as if the past run reports have been as a glorious outpouring from Mystic Meg. The hounds from Hash 627 - Gravelrash and Welly Wanker - moaned that 'Here's me thinking that the youngsters would mess up! Wrong!! Headless chickens...the experienced leaders were!'. The last report from Hash 628 the Webmaster clearly stated that 'the hash does not condone fighting in any way shape or form...unless it involves two Southern Belles and a swimming pool full of Jell-o'. With this type of voyeuristic capability the webmaster would like to thank Pippa Middleton in advance for the signed photograph of her posteior aspect.

 

Great trail set by Scrumpy and Wet Patch. Arriving slightly early the Webmaster was greeted by the Hares. It was quickly evident that commets made during past run reports had met with dischord from the Hares. Suffice it to say the Webmaster did try to make a case for the freedom of the press but it was hard to make ones point clear when buried in Scrumpys armpit. The issue is now closed.

 

With a grim sense of forboding about the length of the trail, the circle was called by the infirmed GM. Apparently the GM broke his thumb playing hockey. Calls of 'Bullshit!' issued forth as clearly the GM had caused himself RSI by playing too much Angry Birds.

 

The pacey trail looped in and around Westham and environs, making good use of the cemeteries and estates. A record number of fish hooks were laid to trap unwary hounds. It is always a measure of how many fish hooks have been laid when the returning pack does not contain Bones 1 or Just Andrew.

 

At a regroup which was placed outside a property on Newstead Road, the hares called for Bestiality and AN Other to duke it out for the hand of a young lady. Courting has obviously become weird since my day when a knowledge of Joey Tribiani's pick up lines and Chandler Bing's wit was enough to impress the fairer sex. (Those reading this under 20 years of age will have FaceTube 'Friends' in their own time).

 

The route took in two play parks (no we dont understand either - Ed) where the pack were taken back to their childhood. Judging by the average age of the hash these days it may be that this is their favourite spot to 'hang out'.Bones 1 sustained a slide related injury after getting wedged on the descent. The webmaster also had a funny turn when exiting the roundabout in the first playpark. Luckily nobody noticed the faceplant so all is well.

 

At the 55 minute mark the webmaster decided that as the pack was again turning and heading away from the pub, he would join Ivor Stent in making a beeline for the On Inn. As luck would have it the trail was found and we returned to the On Inn in 59m 59 seconds. Those who continued were not so lucky and sloped in twenty minites later.

 

At the down down circle the RA, (or Don Juan depending on his outfit -Ed) made a good point about the length of the hash which should not exceed 60 minutes. Don't be fooled by the RAs calm exterior. This is as apoplectic as Rosie gets. You have been warned!  

 

Past run report done, the Webmaster is off to the Gym to brush up his skills at the pugilistic arts. Just in case.